We had a sweet Father’s Day. Gary worked most of it, but we were expecting that, so no big deal. I got up early and called Alan and then we spent another day chasing the sun.

I was devastated to wake up and see a lifetime/childhood friend of mine had passed away.

I posted about him having a heart attack, but he had actually gone home and was stable. He became pale and clammy and collapsed in their kitchen a few hours after getting home. He apparently had a bleeding ulcer and went septic. My guess would be the blood thinners from the heart attack? I know if they pump you full of blood thinners it’s hard on the gut. Kelly said they worked on him for 2 hours. So sad.

Montie was an EMT for many years. I think it’s one reason he survived 2 prior heart attacks. He understood the signs early.

It’s just so sad. In his last post on Facebook he was so excited about going home but he was clear about the fact that he should’ve died and he’d cheated death but he was thankful.

He has a son that’s autistic, and this is going to really affect that young man. He and Montie are so close. Montie was a loud voice for autism and a true advocate for all children.

I mentioned in my other post he was quite a bit older than me so we weren’t close when I was younger, but we did become good friends through social media and Gary and I saw him when I was pregnant with Gage when Jay was fighting cancer and hospitalized after his stroke. I remembered him, of course, but I was a very little girl and he was in high school.

His brother Mitchell is actually closer to my age. He owns the Cheesecake Lab in Baton Rouge and I’m sure he’s devastated but he hasn’t said anything yet.

It just darkened the day a bit.

The Bible talks about good people often dying young and it isn’t kidding.

Anyway, I guess I should be feeling depressed, but I actually just feel thankful. Every day really is a gift. I have no doubt that Montie is in heaven reunited with his parents that he loved so dearly. So I don’t feel sorry for Montie. I feel sorry for Kelly and Keeton, but they’re gonna be OK.

It’s just another reminder to hold your spouse, hold your kids, kiss them and love on them like it could be their last, because it could. God didn’t put us here to spend our lives grieving, he put us here to love one another.

I feel like I’ve spent a lifetime stuck in grief, but once you’re out of it, you don’t take anything for granted anymore. Don’t misunderstand me. I don’t think grief completely ever goes away. I always say that grief is circular, and I stand by that, but the heaviness of it gets lighter. Eventually, when it circles back around, as it does, it starts to show itself as memories and smiles and warm thoughts instead of heaviness and void.

There’s a lot of instruction in the Bible about how to deal with grief, and I wish that I had leaned into that more instead of always having to do it my way. Because as always, it’s filled with truth and accuracy.

God tells us that because he understands that the world doesn’t wait for us while we’re grieving, it just doesn’t. And while that might seem unfair, the alternative would be horrible. It’s the way that we’re designed. It’s the reason why so many Christians don’t fear death. Life is scarier.

All right I’ve gotta get up and get some things done. I need to make a Sam’s order to pick up for tomorrow, pay a few bills and check in on my lover.

Y’all have a good one.