House of Alcina

I’m inspired by mature women who understand that life isn’t always about them. The ones who put their children first and make sacrifices that often go unnoticed.

My mother said that all the time when I was growing up.

“Jennifer, not everything is about you.”

I mean, I was a teenager, so in my mind, I thought it was.

But I understand exactly what she meant now. She meant that I would make a million choices in life that would require me to put my own happiness on the back burner and sacrifice things I wanted if I was going to be a person worth admiring or a mother who truly loved her children. I was going to have to learn how to be more selfless.

When my mother passed away, the pastor asked if we could think of one word to describe her. Everyone got quiet, but I immediately said, “Selfless.”

Because she was.

Being selfless doesn’t mean you don’t have anything or that you can’t take care of yourself. It doesn’t mean you have to live in some poverty-stricken state. It just means understanding that the people around you matter as much as you do, and sometimes more. It means realizing that everything isn’t always about you.

Because it’s not, and if you think it is, life will have a field day showing you that it isn’t. 

This is one of the first things that pulled me away from New Age practices. I knew immediately that it was a hamster wheel because it’s all based around your own feelings and happiness- how everything makes you feel instead of how the things that you do make other people feel.

Maybe that’s why I’m so inspired by fighters too.

The people who keep going when life gives them every reason to quit. The ones who have been knocked down by grief, disappointment, loss, or their own mistakes, but somehow find the strength to get back up and keep moving forward.

The women I admire most are usually both. They’re selfless, and they’re tough. They keep showing up for the people they love, even when life gets hard.

Those are the people who inspire me.