I’ve briefly spoken before about my lifelong friend Jennifer that has been battling cancer for about a year now. This morning she announced that she was told to get her affairs in order, because she would not be here much longer.

I sat here in my bed and sobbed. I can’t imagine being told that at Christmas time. I can’t imagine having to tell my children that at all. Even having seen my mother and brother suffer the same fate, we can’t comprehend what that would feel like.

It puts a lot of things in perspective. I worry so much over my house being clean. I worry over what my kids are wearing and eating. I worry over what people think of me. I worry that I’m doing too much or doing too little and truth is none of it really matters in the end.

Don’t misunderstand me. Life is made to be lived, and we also have to be who we are. We’re humans… and we want nice houses and we want to do the best we can for our children, but it’s so incredibly important to keep it all in perspective to understand that it can all be gone in one fleeting moment.

I’ve been very aware of that since I was pretty young. It’s not lost on me how quick things change. I know that you can lose absolutely everything in a moment… not just your life… your marriage, family members, jobs, financial stability, health etc etc etc. We’re all just one bad decision or one incident away from having really different lives than what we have.

Jennifer has shown such grace, gratitude, humility and strength through this battle and I’m absolutely heartbroken for her. Today was the very first time she has said anything that wasn’t completely positive and full of hope, and that gutted me to see that. When we see hope in others it creates hope within ourselves.

I know that Jennifer‘s time here won’t be much longer, but I will never forget the way that she fought this battle. She fought it the way that God tells us to fight our battles – to fully and completely put our trust and faith in him. I have watched her do that, and even though her journey here may be ending, I have no doubt that God has beautiful things in store for her, and I believe that he will comfort her and he is ending her suffering and taking her home. She has suffered so much already. We have a good and gracious God. A pure and infinite love that we can’t even conceive, awaits her.

John 14:1–3 (KJV)

“Let not your heart be troubled…In my Father’s house are many mansions…I go to prepare a place for you… that where I am, there ye may be also.”