Lately, it feels like hardly anyone stays together anymore. I was shocked to hear that a couple of our friends had separated. This was the kind of couple you looked up to, the kind you admired. They had been through real life together: their son’s cancer, the loss of loved ones, job changes, moving from state to state. These are the kinds of things that often tear people apart. But they had made it through. Or so it seemed.

When I found out they’d decided to part ways, I was genuinely heartbroken. What surprised me even more was learning that one of them had stepped out of the marriage. That’s something I just don’t understand. Believe me, I know marriage is hard for some people, especially if they have children prior or they get together really young. We all wrestle with our own flesh and sinful nature in life as well. But I guess my mindset has always been that all relationships are challenging, and cheating simply isn’t the answer. It never is.

I’ll tell you something I’ve never talked about publicly. A few years ago, I got close to a neighbor. We both had lost our parents, and in that shared grief, we became fast friends. I loved and cared for him deeply, but more like a little brother. He was quite a bit younger than me, about twelve years. At the time, I didn’t see anything wrong with our friendship. But looking back, I can admit we probably got too close for comfort, especially being the opposite sex. I learned the hard way that while men and women can be just friends, it can also get messy quickly if boundaries aren’t honored.

What hurt the most was that people blamed me when things went sideways. He crossed lines he shouldn’t have. He said and did things that made me uncomfortable. Even though I never reciprocated, it still created tension, especially with his wife, and it was visible to everyone that it made me uncomfortable too. I can understand now why she resented me. It made her feel hurt and threatened. Honestly, if my husband were acting that way toward another woman, I’d be devastated too. I wish I could say we’d handle it with grace, but when your heart is involved, it’s hard, because I genuinely loved him like he was family. He never would have acted that way in front of my husband, so he shouldn’t have done it in front of his wife, or at all. We lost deep friendships over it, and it had a lot to do with why we moved so abruptly. I knew that we may resolve things, but it would NEVER be the same again.

That whole experience taught me how quickly emotional lines can blur, and how painful it is to feel misunderstood in the middle of it. I’ve never forgotten that. I know how much it hurt Gary, how angry he was and how betrayed he felt that I’d not told him about a few of the incidents. It was all around messy despite nothing ever happening.

I understand that life is messy, people make mistakes, and not every marriage survives. But when you’ve built a life together, raised children, and weathered storms, how do you just walk away from that? How do you betray someone who’s been your person through it all?

Gary is my best friend. He’s my family. He’s the love of my life and the father my children adore. I’m not naive enough to believe every relationship looks like ours. I know how much work it takes. But I really believed they were one of the strong ones.

Maybe they will both go on to find healing and even happiness in their new lives. I truly hope they do. But it’s hard not to fell sad about what they had and what their children are losing. Look… Divorce isn’t always wrong- Sometimes it’s the only healthy choice. But it still breaks my heart to see them fall apart after so many years.

It also makes me wonder what changed. What made them seek affection outside of their marriage? Was it the silence after the kids left? Differences in beliefs or values? The slow drift of inattention? Or was it just the snare of lust disguised as something innocent?

Whatever the cause, it reminds me how fragile love can be when it isn’t protected. It also reminds me how important it is to nurture what you’ve built with pure intentions, every single day, even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.

Because love, real love, is worth fighting for in my opinion.