Today’s sermon was about being equally yoked—not only in marriage but in relationships in general. This is something I think about a lot. I often get confused about what I’m supposed to do in certain situations.

For instance, I have a good friend who is in active addiction. I love her very much, but she is a lot when she is drinking. I used to be the same way—I’ve literally been her—so I do have a lot of compassion, but I’ve also worked so hard to eliminate alcohol from my life. It took the life of my father and played a role in my brother’s death too. I hate it so much.

Sometimes I feel like God aligned me with her to help her, but she’s watched me change my life and go through years of sobriety, and she still has no desire to stop. We can’t help anyone if we only align ourselves with people who are just like us, but there are naturally limitations and boundaries with people who don’t share our beliefs.

We do have to be careful about who we bring into our worlds because people can influence us. Believe me, I know.

I think, like everything else in life, we just have to find the right balance. It’s not always black and white. I do believe it’s entirely possible to have a small, tight circle that shares your core beliefs while also extending love to others who have different values, as long as there is mutual respect.

Having said that, we also have the right to set boundaries and have rules, like, “Please don’t drink around my kids,” or, “Please don’t call me past 10 p.m. on a weeknight when you’ve been drinking all day.”

At the end of the day, I know God calls me to love others, but also to protect the peace and growth he has brought into my life and the work he has done in me. Finding that balance isn’t always easy, but I trust that if I keep leaning on Him for wisdom, he will guide me to love others in a way that honors all of those things.

“Boundaries are not walls to keep others out, but bridges to ensure love and respect flow freely without harm.”